Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Ode to my Grade 5 Teacher

In grade five, M. Pelland told us that we would have to take a very important test that was government mandated. A government official by the name of Loo Flirpa would be evaluating these tests and if we did not follow all of the instructions, we would not pass grade five. He told us right before morning recess. I remember Kristy and Danielle planned to skip school to avoid this test at all costs. We came in from recess very scared. We took the test - which in the instructions said "read all questions carefully before beginning the test". The very last question on the test explained that it was an April Fool's joke, to not answer any of the questions and not to reveal the secret.

Fast forward to today. Last night Ashley, Laura and I composed a test very similar to the one described above. We made an official School Board cover page and printed the test on coloured foolscap. We had the principal remind teachers about the "academic achievement" test that would take place at 10:30 am over the announcements. My students didn't catch on (even though they had being trying to pull an April Fool's prank on me). After recess, I spoke to them about the importance of the test. It is very serious - everyone would see their results - including the government! We went over the instructions on the cover page - 40 minutes only to write the test, teacher cannot give hints only read the questions out loud for you, read all questions carefully before beginning and use a pencil. We separated the desks and went over the instructions 3 times orally. I repeated the instructions about 25 times during the 40 minutes stressing the reading of the questions first instruction. They totally bought it. They were sweating and some were almost in tears. I told them the government official, Loo Flirpa, would be in to evaluate the tests at the end and he doesn't like to be disappointed.

Only 2 students actually read all of the questions before beginning. They got to question 10 at the same time, looked at each other, smiled and then just waited for the others to catch on. They didn't write a thing.  Little by little students started catching on. Only two of my students didn't catch on at all. At the end of 40 minutes, they hadn't even finished half of the test. We went over the instructions on the cover page. I explained that the last question was the most important question on the test and had one of the unfinished students read it out loud to the class. He turned completely red and the other one was totally embarrassed too.
hahaha.

that ruled.

ps. Loo Flirpa is April Fool spelled backwards.

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